we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
