Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Slut skills are useful in every country.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
