I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
