Your face is a jimmy john
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i think i have herpe
just one?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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