A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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