the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i out mim tonsoeep
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