I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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