I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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