i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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