Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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