I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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