its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
