"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
