Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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