I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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