I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
