I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
