I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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