I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
