i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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