She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
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