Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
