We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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