he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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