Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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