I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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