If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
