Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
