I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
