I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
