Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
