break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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