I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
