I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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