Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
