id be glad to
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
