its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
