Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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