no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
