I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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