I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
