Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
