Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
