Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
