The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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