"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She announced her abortion via fbk
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
