I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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