can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
they need to just BURY HIM!
my sisters under your porch take her home
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
