so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
