getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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