I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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