Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
