Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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