If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
