What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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