wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
